Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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