My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
