I'm jealous of your bromance
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
