and my herpes radar will keep us safe
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize