ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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