I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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