So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
