I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
