If i could tip my vagina, i would.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize