Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
