And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
