Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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