My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
