but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
