i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
