I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
why is half of my head shaved?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize