So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
