also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
