He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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