So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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