I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
