Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
