Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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