This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
