FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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