She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
