We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
