He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
