new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
