A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
