do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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