May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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