Don't you send me to vm
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
