called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
