Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
