You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i now understand why vodka
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
