No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he was CRYING into my vagina
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
