He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
