he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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