I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
