Nicole vs. Life
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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