i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
