i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
