I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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