We're facebook friends in real life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
