worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm passing your future prison.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
