He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
