my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
