I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
