It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
