I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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