rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you traded sex for a burrito?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize