She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
