Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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