we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
