what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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