marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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