Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
