she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
