I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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