You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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