You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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