do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
