I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize