She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
