Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
