I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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