We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Randomize
