He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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