I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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