To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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