All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
wanna go halves on a baby?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize