Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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