This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
