Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
